The Battle of Walkersville

A great victory for the nation

Local irregular forces thwart massive enemy invasion!
Not since General Lee’s retreat from Antietam have local Marylanders witnessed such a triumph. 10,000 of invading enemy foot have been prevented from establishing a stronghold in the small hamlet of Walkersville (population 5,980). Apart from threatening nearby Fort Dietrich in Frederick, Maryland, the enemy forces would be poised to cut the vital transportation lines from Washington D.C to all points North and West. Hurrah! Hurrah! for those brave citizens, volunteers one and all, who have resisted this cowardly sneak attack from our pernicious and unwelcome invaders.

Secret Wars Part IV History Quiz

The battle of Walkersville took place in What Year?





The correct answer might be easier to ascertain if one knew that the invading enemy “foot” were Islamists. Specifically, that they were from an apostate Pakistani sect of Islam called Wahaddi. Their “invasion” plan was to purchase a 224 acre farm from a certain Mr. Moxley who is the current owner. Their plan was to construct an “Islamic Worship” center. The center would be capable of handling up to 10,000 “pilgrims” at a time for religious celebrations. That would be 10,000 visitors in addition to those permanently employed in maintaining the facility. I mentioned above that the total population of Walkersville is currently under 6,000 souls-none of whom are Wahaddi. The water aquifer in that area is already over utilized and in danger. The road system is already gridlocked by the largely commuter population. Imagine the impact that this huge influx of Muslims would have on the town. It was quite simply nothing less than an attempt to buy up an entire township.

Why Walkersville?

Well, I am not privy to the council of Wahaddi’s inner thoughts so I can not say for sure. I cannot even imagine who is financing the operation(but I can guess). There are some disturbing circumstances. Fort Dietrich, in Frederick Maryland, is the nations premier facility for the development and testing of bacteriological and chemical weapons(and how to defend against them). From Moxley’s farm to the front gate of Ft. Dietrich is approximately 6.5 miles. Mapquest lists the travel time as 11 minutes. The entire population of Frederick is only 50,000 people. Imagine how such a huge influx of Islamists would change the local economy. Surely, Muslim merchants and businesses would be inclined to locate near to such a huge attraction. The demographic for Walkersville and Frederick would change dramatically. Am I paranoid if I think that the security at Fort Dietrich may be compromised if the surrounding outside labor force and businesses are largely Islamic? Then there is the transportation issue. Washington D.C.’s emergency evacuation plan calls for any persons north of Pennsylvania Avenue at the time of crisis be evacuated to the North and West. The only major highway north from D.C is Route 270 North. From 270N you can take 70 west to Hagerstown, 340 west to Harper’s Ferry and West Virginia, and 15 north to Gettysburg. Guess where all these roads intersect? Lets say it together. That’s right. Frederick, Maryland. Six and a half miles from Walkersville. I’m quite sure however that we have nothing to worry about because as we all have been told for so long “Islam is a religion of Peace”

In a Pig’s Eye

At any rate, The invasion was stopped by the Walkersville zoning board who declined to change Moxley’s Farm’s zoning from agricultural to Jihadist.

And you didn’t even know that any of this was happening, did you?

Stay tuned for Secret Wars Part V, coming to you from a blog very nearly like this one. That is unless I have violated Sharia Law and committed a thought crime. Time to get the old Iron Collar out of the Armory I guess.

Svinrod Out

P.S. The correct answer is D for any KoS kids who are still wondering.

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