D & D

Before there was an Internet, an XBox or Wii, there was Dragons and Dungeons. The most sophisticated video games of the age were Pong and Asteroid. They fit into a console slightly smaller than a phone booth. D&D still used the 19th century technologies of pen, pencil, graph paper and dice (or die) and a little(or very little) imagination. There was always one player with an(imaginary) axe. Consequently, said axe was used as a weapon, a universal key/door opener, a means of dividing treasure etc…Brute force dont’cha know. More often than not, it was perhaps not the best answer. Sometimes though, it was precisely the right answer.

Nowadays, I find that I am often playing not Dungeons and Dragons, but it’s 21st century equivalent. Lets call it Terrorists & Trolls. T&T. I like that. The terrorist part is right here on You Tube Smackdown. You can go to directly to the enemy castle and become an instant Troll. It is fun because they hate it, and frankly, how often do you get to be as obnoxious as you like all in the name of God and Country? Here, the imaginary axe is a hoot!

The Troll part of T&T is slightly different, but not much. I have only been using this medium for a short while, but it amazes me that some people would rather argue with an Internet Troll than hit them with an axe. Really! A Troll is a Troll. Hitting them with axes is what normal people should do. Have you ever tried debating with a Troll? Their most brilliant insights can be reduced to noises like “Uunnghh! or Gthaack!! Civilised people often prefer civilised discussion, but reasoning with a Troll is like playing Beethoven to an omelet. Strange behavior with predictable results. The omelet will always get cold before the end of the first movement. Breakfast is ruined and Beethoven gets nothing out of the deal either.

So what have we learned today(apart from that Svin forgot to take his Meds)? Trolls and Terrorists are alike in that they both need to be hit with an axe. Or a Tomahawk. Now go forth and rack up some hit points. We are in a target rich environment. All we need to do is hone our bad manners.

Svinrod the Swordless has left the Building!

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